Monday, April 19, 2010

Banks AGAIN !!







FUCKING BANKS




Well, ive been watching these bullshit bank Ads on the TV and ive finally snapped.
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Do these cunts think that we are all fucking so stupid that we dont know they lie to our faces ?
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Example: NAB is currently running a campaign saying that during the global meltdown, that they actually increased lending to help people through the storm.
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WHAT THE FUCK ?????
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If by increased lending they mean they increased lending to thier own repossesion department, then yeh, maybe they did, but for fuck sake.... we all know the cunts just repossesed more poor cunts houses and cars than they probably did in the last 10 years.
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How is it for these scumbag pricks, that make more profit than most countries, ok to lie to our faces, and were sposed to swallow this crap ?
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Then on top of it, they keep jacking up the home loan rates, regardless of what the reserve bank does, what they just sit there in the banks department of "fucking over the customers" thinking of more ways to screw us up the arse daily ?
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Well another bank has been running ads saying they "Contacted thier clients during the Globla Financial Crisis and offered to extend thier loans and refinance them" Ummmm who the fuck did they contact ? coz i cant seem to find a single fucking person that didnt COP IT UP THE ARSE during this fuckin meltdown.
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I mean seriously, were they all aiming for the jackpot prize ? repo 100 homes an hour and get this set of steak knives ? WTF ? Repo 100 cars in an hour and get the meat tray ?
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The dirty cunts throw people out of thier homes and on to the street, and yeh, thats all just forgotten, lets put some nice touchy feely ads out, and the dumb cunts will beleive us...
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By now im sure you have figured out that I HATE BANKS, and i reckon THEY ARE CUNTS, becuase they have no other purpose in life, but to fuck you over, and make a profit in the process.
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I think i might open my own bank, and call it the "FU Bank", my slogan can be "We can fuck you over just as good as the others, but hey, we will give you free moneyboxes". Man i will make a Motza.
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Who's tried to borrow some money in the last 12 months ? for a car, or a house, or even a personal loan ? Tell me you dont feel like the little boy from the movie Oliver...

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"Please sir, id like to borrow some money, and you can make a massive profit from it...."

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"YOU WANT TO BORROW MORE ???? YOU WANT MORE???"

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Seriously, one day i want to win 50 mil in lotto, and im gonna buy a fuck load of shares in a bank, and then go to the AGM and made a dead set cunt of myself, and heckle the fuck out of the pricks in the middle of thier "we just made another billion" speech.
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Why is it ok for these cunts to treat us like were fucking vermin shit caught under thier boot ? Why do they think we are all stupid ? Do they see fucking scars on our foreheads from frontal labotomies ?
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Want me to tell you why ?
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Coz they are cunts, pure and simple.

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Fuckem.

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Later peoples.








Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Bloody Vicroads, RTA, Main Rds, Etc.


What the fucking hell is wrong with the Government registration authoraties ?
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What the fuck is wrong with Vicroads ? im sure all the other states arent much better, but today Vicroads is getting the Angry man treatment, with a little NSW Rta in the mix.
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Firstly, why the fuck do they only employ just enough people to always make sure you have to wait an hour ?
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Isnt my time valuable to them ? obviously fucking not, coz they dont care, i have to sit and wait for the privelidge of getting completely fucked over by a bunch of pricks that take my money as well.
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Have you ever rung the cunts up ? well lets just hope if you do, your not on your mobile, because you will need to sell a kidney to pay for the 9 hour phone call, and if you are one of the lucky ones that actually get through, you will either end up with a fuckwit that has no idea what your asking, or you have been directed to the guy that cleans the toilets by mistake.
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Its not bad enough that when you walk in and take the ticket from that fucking machine and you look up at the current number they are serving and find out there are over a hundred people in front of you, nah, when you finally get the the fucking counter, they will tell you that you have the wrong paperwork and tell you to come back another day...
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ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
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I think they should have a 10ft high fucking hairy gorilla at the front door that belts you in the fuckin nose, so that when you sit there for an hour, you have something to take your mind off it.
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Then we come to the rocket scientists behind the counter, for fuck sake, do they go to slow school ? i mean how many times do they have to ask you the same questions, and you provide them the same fucking paperwork, only to have them tell you that you are missing something, until you point out that its in thier hand ?
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Heaven forbid you actually have to register something and they have to waddle outside to come check the numbers on the vehicle ?
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Oh man, thats a fate worse than death, because we all know how they fuck around even when you show them where the numbers are, but all of a sudden they think they are fucking mechanics and decide to have a look round the vehicle, like they even know what the fuck they are looking at ?
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Do you know how badly i want to shove one of those stupid fucking little extension lights they use to see the number, right up thier lazy farken arse, and pull it out the other fucking end ?
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One thing i do feel sorry for is the poor bastards in NSW, you guys got serious issues with your RTA, they are fucked !!
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I tried to arrange a permit to bring a vehicle home to Vic, and was told i needed to get a brown slip to drive it on the road ? whats a brown slip i ask ?
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Well fuck me, i have to get a safety check to allow me to take a vehicle to go get checked ?
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What the fuck ? I need a check to take it for a check ?
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Are they on fucking drugs ? Obviously they fucking are.
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Seriously, we need to doze the joints into the ground with the useless fucking cunts working there in with the rubble.
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Fuckin cunts !!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

FUCKING TRAFFIC, MORE TRAFFIC, AND MORE TRAFFIC.

Ok kids, its been a while, but due to popular demand, the angry man is back.
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How many times have you sat in a traffic Jam on a Toll road, thinking why the fuck am i paying for the privelidge of sitting here wasting MY valuable time ?
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Let me ask you, why the fuck do we have to pay to sit in a traffic Jam ?
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The Angry Mans take ?
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Being charged a Toll while the traffic isnt moving, is THEFT !! Pure an simple THEFT.
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FOR FUCKS SAKE, IVE NEVER SEEN A MORE CLEAR CUT CASE OF PAYING FOR A FUCKING DEFECTIVE PRODUCT !!
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The A - Triple fuckin C are right onto some crap plastic bit of shit imported toy that isnt the right color or made with slightly the wrong packaging, but why isnt it that they are on to the great big bloody ass reaming we all get daily sitting in traffic on a toll road ?
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If i walked into Mac-farken-donalds, and said I want a burger, they take my money and then tell me to piss off and dont give me my cheeseburger, there would be hell to pay right ?
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So can someone PLEASE tell me why the fuck we are paying for a Toll road thats a car park.
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But wait, there's more, and it aint farken steak knives either.....
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Whats with the FUCKIN closed lanes on freeways during peak hour ?
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Please someone tell me why the fuck they do that ?
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I sat in bumper to bumper traffic today, 3 lanes wide, with an extra lane that was closed...
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FOR NO BLOODY REASON !!
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Why the fuck do they close the lane ?
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Just to make someone lose it and go postal ? Listen folks, its happened before, people go nutz in traffic, and people get shot, beaten, and terrorised, and why ?
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Beacuse the cunts cant get the road system right ?
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I can just see it, in years to come, after we all go insane, and we shoot someone in traffic, you will be standing there in the court, the judge will ask you why you did it, and you will respond with...
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"Well your honour, there i was, i had been sitting there not moving for 40 mins, the pricks charged me for the privelidge, and then this tosspot in a hyundai excel pulled up next to me, with his baseball cap turned around backwards, 22" chrome rims, milo tin exhaust pipe, and he was playing some god awful music so loud all you could hear is the bass beat, and i snapped"
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I can just see the judge saying...
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"Hmmm Im so sorry sir, case dismissed..... Bailiff, validate this mans parking voucher.... sorry for wasting your time sir, how about i send some work for the dole kids round to mow your lawn for a year or two.."
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Why is it ok to shaft us, and all us stupid sheep just keep letting them do us up the arse, and not only do we ask for more, we ask them to wrap 20 grit sandpaper and DONT use lube.
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ITS A SCAM SCAM SCAM.
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-Angry man.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Old People...


What is it with crabby old fogies ?
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When did we all agree to let them be crabby old pains in the arses ?
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Why the fuck do they all think the world owes them ? More like the other fucking way round, they owe us !!
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We have to put up with these rude old pricks, deliberatly running us down with thier shopping trollies, nearly running us down with thier cars, and thats all just ok ?
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WHAT THE FUCK !!
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Seriously, if you or i did that, we would get a fair belt in the melon from the people we piss off.
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How many times, have you had the old pricks try a guilt trip on you ? Why should you let them in line before you ? What the fuck have they done for you ?
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Next time one of them pushes thier fucking supermarket trolley into me, i swear im going to fall to the ground, Peter Griffon Family Guy style, holding my knee for 20 mins seething through my teeth. Im gonna embarrass the hell out of one.
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I bet you any money though the old bugger starts trying to turn the story about thier hard fuckin life....
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Fuck If one more rude old person pushes in front of me somewhere, i swear im going to go bananas.
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No one has the right the be a miserable rude prick if it affects other people. If you want to be a rude miserable prick, go and live in the old peoples home with all your mates.
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Fuckin leave me alone !!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Bloody TV Stations !!



Fucking TV Stations...


What the fuck is with these idiots that run TV stations ?

Every time they put a show on that is half good, they fuck it up and take it off after four episodes, and leave us hanging.

Who the fuck are these people that perform the ratings ? are they real or do the stations just make the shit up as they go along ? Because there cant be that many people out there that have no idea what makes interesting Teev.

Then even worse, when they get a nice series flowing well, they shove 2 or 3 repeats into the series for no other reason than to piss you the fuck off.

You bust your ass all day for shit money, and when you come home its nice to look forward to your favourite show, and then the show starts and 30 seconds in, you start thinking, am i losing my fucking mind ? ive seen this shit before, unless i have fallen into some space and time void, and im stuck in ground hog fucking day, or more likely... the TV station is fucking us all over.

THE CUNTS !!!

So now the pricks give us another couple of free channels with FUCK ALL ON THEM !!

Look at this GO! crap, its just fuckin Hogans Heroes and Get Smart every 3 hours. Dont get me wrong, i like Colonel Klink as much as the next man, well... possibly more, but i can only take so fuckin much.

Is it just me, or is watching Hogans Heroes at 9pm at night just fucking messed up ? I grew up watching the adventures of Klink, Schultz, and Hogan and Co after school. Its just not right watching at night ?



Hooooooooooogan !!!
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I think if i see one more rerun of the fucking Nanny TV show, with that fucking annoying bitch, i swear im gonna fly over there and smack her with her own fucking rediculous hairdo. WILL SHE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP !!
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Well, back to these TV fuckheads ....I feel like were being yet again fucked over by some cunt we have no control over. I wanna watch something NEW, FRESH, INTERESTING for fuck sake, i mean how hard can it fucking be ?
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Worst of all im sick and fucking tired of the TV stations fucking with the programs, on the day, so your guide aint worth the paper its written on, and what we all need to do, is turn up at the front door of these cunts that schedule the programs, and beat them around thier empty fucking melons with the TV guide. Then the tools wouldnt fuck with us.
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Is it really that hard to start the programs on time either ? im sick of fucking flipping channels to find that the program i wanted to watch started 5 mine earlier, or that i still have to watch 5 mins of a Jerry fucking Seinfeld rerun from 1990.
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Fuck Me, how hard is it ?
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I give up, fuckit.


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Fucking Banks...



You all knew this was coming...


Well, today its these fucking thieving crunts we call Banks.
Seriously, is there a worse place on earth than waiting in a line at a bank ? I mean next time your stuck in line think of this...
Your paying these crunts your hard earned cash for the privelidge of standing there like a fucking moron.

Time to get even kiddies...

Next time, while your standing in line, start shaking your head and looking at the tellers.. make sure your doing it in a very dissaproving manner... be a real annoying crunt... i mean your paying for it right ? Get your fucking moneys worth.

Then start looking at the tellers individually, and as soon as one walks off from thier counter to go to the crapper, of thier shift ends... immediatly say something out loud like " Your kidding me right ?? " dont yell it, just do it in your most sarcastic voice, and humiliate them.

Next look at the person behind you in line and start rubbishing the bank, and again do it nice and loud... something like... "They make 3 billion a year in profit, and we get to stand here like this... " or something like... "They are so slow at this bank, my time is valuable..."... Again, its your money, so have a bitch and get your hard earned moneys worth.

Ofcourse through all this, you should be tapping your foot, and letting out really loud sighs and ofcourse a good eye rolling works well too.

A few good mutterings work well too, but make sure they are just loud enough to be heard... stuff like "Fuck me..."... or a good "For Fucks Sake".... dont forget to keep looking at your watch too... do it every minute or so.

Another good thing is to ring someone on your phone, and make sure you say something to them like "Yeh, im here at (insert bank), and yeh the fuckers are screwing me over again, you want to see the shit service... yeh they are all just a bunch of crunts..." and make it loud.

Make sure you DONT fill in a Deposit slip or Withdrawl slip, make the teller do it, you want your moneys worth right ? .... Tell them you dont have your ID, make em look it up on the computer, to check the signature, and then when they think they will get you back and try to tell you that they cant help you without your ID, tell them you want to see the manager, in fact.. DEMAND it !! When the manager turns up.... pick that instant to remember you actually DO have your ID.

Next tell them you want your money in some wierd combination that makes them think... for example, i want $200 in 4x $10 notes, 6x $5 notes, 1x $50, 4x20's etc, and make sure it doesnt ad up... then when they tell you, change the combination again. This should be good for 3 or 4 times.

When its finally time to leave the shit hole, look at all the other people in line and utter a few comments like... "Hope your not in a hurry"... or "Good luck... your going to need it..."

Go to the little tables with the pens on the end of the chain, and rip a few off the chain, but dont take them, just leave them on the table.

Now go to the enquiry counter and start asking foreign exchange rates, in obscure amounts, stuff like, whats $94.00 Australian against indonesian rupiah ? or how mand dracma's to $123.00 Australian ? then start asking about super or life insurance, and waste some more of thier time, and when they respond always ask them to repeat themselves a few times...

On the way out, make sure you fuck with the ATM. Stick your card in, and if you have a cheque account, keep pressing the Savings button, and then after it keeps fucking up, go in and demand a staff member come out and show you how to use it, and make sure you tell them the machine is fucked and that you were pressing cheque all the time.


Now the most important part of all ?


MAKE SURE YOU COME BACK AND DO THIS AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK..


Lets face it... the banks are CRUNTS and its time you got something back at the dicks...


Its your money, so fuckem. Seriously... what are they gonna do ? charge you more ?


Thanks...


The Angry Man.


Fuckwit Drivers....


Idiots on our roads i tells ya...


Seriously, how the fuck do some people get a drivers licence ? I mean really, surely the various state Authorities cant be that incompetant to hand out licences to all these people that cant drive a greasy stick up a camels arse.

Does Kellogs really hand them out in Corn Flake boxes ? Maybe its not actually a joke ? maybe its true ? Because there is no logical way they can legally have a licence.

How often do you take an on ramp to get onto a freeway only to come to a complete stop, because the fucking idiot at the end of the ramp, has stopped, instead of matching the traffic speed and merging ? Where the fuck do these idiots get thier licences from ? Were back at Mr Kellog again arent we ?

The government is pushing this wipe off 5 to sumthin sumthin.... (I dont pay attention to those shitty ads). Well why the fuck do i get stuck by the one fuckwit that watches the ad and then puts it into practice ? Where the fuck does this tool get off holding me up ? When did i vote for him to use up my time ?


FOR FUCKS SAKE.


Then we have Mr or Ms "The law doesnt apply to me".... youve seen the fucking idiots in the carparks, parking wherever they want.... the guy or woman in the Merc worth 200 grand, parked in the loading zone, or even the handicapped spot... I must admit over the years to taking out a fair amount of aggression on these fuckwits, and giving them a serve. One of my favoutite moves is to park right next to them if im in the company ute, and leave about 2mm of clearance between the cars so the dumb shits cant get into thier car.


I have actually had one dickhead once try to give me a serve when i got back to the ute.... well i served him back, and proceeded to sit in my ute, and make a few phone calls and make the knob wait longer... Maybe the stooge will think twice before doing it again.... But we both know probably not..


Ive always wanted to fit one of this dot matrix flashing signs you see in the front of take away shops, to my back window, and a little keyboard on my dashboard, so i can type messages to the fuckwit drivers of the world as i pass them...


Let me introduce you to some of the fuckheads on our roads that Mr Kellog has a lot to answer for....

MR CHICKEN SHIT....

This fuckwit drives with thier foot contstantly on the brake pedal no matter what speed they are driving... and taps the brake every time they see anything remotely interesting, heaven forbid a car comes near them because they panic and slam the brakes on. There is a special place in hell reserved for this wanker...

MR SHORT SIGHTED....

We have all met this stooge, this is the guy that jabs the brakes when your following him about 200mts behind, because he is so short sighted he thinks your in his boot. This particular idiot constantly thinks your tailgating him, and ignores the 200m gap behind him...


MR RICE BURNER RACE CAR DRIVER...

We all know this joke, he drives a bog stock hyundai with an exhaust tip so big that it puts a Kenworth to shame... Look, each to thier own, but why do these guys seem it so important to gun the car up to the lights, or the traffic in front of them, and then blip the throttle every 2 seconds, and seriously the noise the car makes is like a fart in a bathtub....

MR OVERTAKER...

Then we have this stupid crunt.... this is the dick that overtakes us, only to pull in front of us and slow down again, forcing us to overtake him, and pull in front, then ofcourse, he is furious, and doesnt realise his own stupidity, and does it all over again... Seriously i want a cow catcher like on the front of that truck in Mad Max... only a little nudge will sort it...



Ahhh fuck the lot of them, i could fill 50 pages with these idiots.


Once again... thanks for reading...

The Angry Man.